Finals Season Trend Alert!
WEEOOWEEOOWEEOO
TREND ALERT TREND ALERT TREND ALERT
What’s up guys, it’s finals season and I think we can all agree that everyone is stressed, or at least, everyone appears to be stressed for the benefit of their more stressed friends. We find ourselves on a very empathetic campus.
Since you’re spending all of your time being stressed or acting stressed, you probably do not have a lot of free time to know what’s trending these days. So again, I have provided a comprehensive list, so you don’t have to worry about hunting down those trends.
HOT The Academic Research Symposium
You spent all semester researching that one thing and now you get to sweat in a cute little blazer and tell people about it. Congrats! People think you’re smart now!
NOT Spreading disinformation by means of the Academic Research Symposium
The symposium is a time for you to learn how to research and present information ethically and effectively. It is not a time to talk about your conspiracy theory about the squirrels on campus. Learned that one the hard way.
HOT The flowering trees
Do you ever just feel incredibly thankful to look at trees? I sure do. These guys are gorgeous.
NOT The allergies brought on by flowering trees
The air smells like fish and my truck is covered in pollen. I love it, but more realistically, I hate it.
HOT An active de facto dining dollars economy
At the end of the year, the fact is, you either have dining dollars or you do not. But somehow, lots of people still get lots of coffee. If you are in the “have not” boat, like myself, you have found that your currency at this point is not actual money, it is rizz. Your ability to get coffee is entirely dependent on your ability to schmooze dining dollars out of your more responsible, caffeine-indifferent peers. Now to the havers of dining dollars: Friends, this is your opportunity to make a profit off of dining dollars. We all know that at this point, this is a fragile system built entirely off of the “have nots’” rizz, and the “haves’” generosity. But what is stopping you from making a profit? What if you charged two dollars for every four dollar coffee everyone got using your bulldog bucks? A little secret is that the “have nots” approach the haves with an essence of humility and guilt. Use that guilt. Profit off of it. In a Christian way, of course.
NOT A dormant de facto Bulldog Bucks economy
Patrick O’Brien told me we need to be spending our bulldog bucks, so the answer to the current situation is not to remain dormant, it is to act. Speaking of Patrick…
HOT Being thankful for Patrick O’Brien.
Hello Patrick O’Brien. I think I speak for all of us when I say that over the course of a few short weeks, you have changed my life through garlicy-buttery pizza crust, fancy tacos and pho. Lives have been changed. Tastebuds have been activated. Punch has been pleased. You are a hero.
NOT Ignoring the work of the rest of the Chartwells staff
Tootie and Ginger walk so Patrick can run. Never forget your roots.
HOT Making the most of not ideal situations
Resilience and creativity are in!
NOT Deferred dreams
Langston Hughes said a dream deferred is like a raisin in the sun, but to you, it might be more like an empty husk of a music building.
HOT GraduatinG!
One of the only times you and 400 of your closest friends will be wearing the exact same outfit and celebrating the exact same accomplishment. How special and fun!
NOT People asking you what you’re doing after graduation
*nervous sweating* “I don’t know *heavy breathing*…anyways, enough about me. How are you?”
HOT Taking care of yourself
Sleep! Go for a walk! Talk to a person! It’s good for ya!
NOT Regret.
As fun and exciting as the end of the year can be, everyone is busy! However, there can also be a lot of pressure for it to be super fun and to soak up the last moments with friends. Make the most of the end of the year, but also don’t be unrealistic.You are a human being with boundaries. So spend more time with people! Spend more time working to do well on your finals! Do what’s important to you and leave this semester with peace :) You’re doing great.
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