Mental Health Resources for Parents

Changes You Might Anticipate 

Parents report the experience of sending a son or daughter to college as one filled with anticipation, anxiety and confusion. Others express excitement, happiness and relief. Most parents and students look forward to increased independence, gaining competencies in new areas and learning to develop healthy peer relationships.  

In general, college years are a time for students to continue maturing, developing and learning how to successfully make their way through the world. Your student has heard over and over that they are about to experience the “best time of their life.” 

With that message entrenched in their head, it can be surprising and scary to many when they struggle and do not feel they are fitting in at Concordia. What does that mean for you as a parent? 

How do I help my child? 

As a parent, it can be difficult to know when to help, when to step back and how worried to get. Usually, a parent’s best guideline is to provide a steady, supportive home base while recognizing that there will be an ebb and flow in your students’ needs and expectations.  

• Try to follow the lead of your son or daughter.  
• Encourage them to work through a problem with you acting as the coach or consultant.  
• Help them balance their thoughts and emotions to make their best decisions.  
• Let them know that you respect their right to make a decision and that you will serve as an advisor when asked.  
• Reinforce and appreciate the new skills they develop; students often want their families to recognize their progress toward becoming adults. 

Parents have a high emotional (and financial) investment in their student’s decisions. Problems can arise, however, when parents are more invested in the college experience than their student. It can be hard to lessen your involvement in a student’s decisions out of fear that the student will not assume responsibility.  

For many students, college presents the first challenges that they have had to face mostly on their own. Despite the number of opportunities to become involved at Concordia University, it can be difficult to make the instant connections with others that many students expect. They forget how long it takes to establish meaningful friends. It means finding out that studying the night before an exam does not work any longer. It means studying much longer to achieve the same grades they received in high school. It also might mean learning that their dream of going to medical school is not realistic. It means finding out how badly you want something and developing a plan to go after it. It means becoming resilient after setbacks. It means learning how to ask for help. 

Coming face-to-face with new challenges is common in college. Finding support in dealing with these challenges is equally important. Concordia has many resources (e.g., counseling, academic advisement, academic tutoring, health and wellness education, student life, etc.) to address students’ needs. In their quest for independence, students sometimes assume that being an adult means it isn’t necessary to ask questions.  

Parents can remind students that asking questions and using available resources reflect maturity. In fact, students who only try to handle problems on their own may be quite insecure. At the same time, parents and other family members can serve key roles in providing the support needed. Students tell us that it is important to know that their parents will offer consistent support as they venture out to meet the world. 

What Student Counseling Services Offers 

All enrolled Concordia students are eligible for up to 6 free counseling sessions per semester. Counseling services are intended to provide short-term assistance to students in dealing with personal, emotional and educational concerns that may be barriers to their academic progress. 

Students will receive a referral to other sources of assistance. These sources may be on-campus or off-campus in the extended community. 

How Do I Know If My Son or Daughter Needs Counseling? 

We encourage students and parents to err on the side of utilizing services rather than waiting for a problem or issue to resolve itself. People seek counseling for many reasons. It may include long-standing clinical issues they already sought treatment for before coming to Concordia, a desire to enhance their personal growth or address normal developmental concerns. A student’s issues may be addressed at Concordia through individual therapy or skill-building groups or workshops. 

Common issues that students come to the Counseling Center include: 

• Significant changes in mood (depression) 
• Anxiety and stress management 
• Relationship issues (break-ups, isolation or difficulty forming relationships, roommate conflicts, etc.) 
• Alcohol and substance abuse 
• Eating issues and body image 
• Family issues (divorce, financial stressors, etc.) 
• Grief 
• References to suicide 
• Anger management 
• Spirituality issues 
• Psychosomatic issues (tension headaches, insomnia or excessive sleep, loss of appetite, etc.) 
• Academic concerns (contemplating dropping out of school, worrying about possible academic failure, or considering a transfer to another school) 

Confidentiality 

Counseling almost always involves the disclosure of sensitive personal information. All services at Concordia Counseling are confidential and are determined by professional ethics and state law. Information about the counseling or services a student receives is not released except with the student’s written permission.  

The exceptions to confidentiality include where there is clear danger to the student or others or as may be required by law. It is understandable that as a parent you may wish to be involved when your son and daughter seek assistance at Concordia Counseling. As explained above, confidentiality does not allow involvement without the consent of the student. Often the best source of information for parents about the counseling process is the student. When students request their parents to be involved, an informed consent must be signed before counselors can communicate.